June 2003

6/30
Props to Corey for pointing this out:

hmm...
Hey, a lady got on my bus the other day and told me she could do a trick. She asked me my birth date and told me the day of the week it was. Thursday. And she was right. Pretty cool...
Farmiliar got on my bus again. He was drunk and confused again. There was (very obviously) a demonstration at the state capitol when we drove by, and he wondered if I could tell him what was going on at the capitol. I told him that it was a demonstration. That seemed to be the answer he was looking for.
I was route training today and some guys were yelling at me from their car. But my 'Sconsin is getting rusty, so all I understood was something about a radio. Nice 'stache, dude.
Tomorrow is my last day of route training. Then I'll finally get a weekend. I'm hoping to get a little golfing in.
Seems like I'm forgetting something.
6/29
Well, the Duke of Duke became the Duke of Puke yesterday. He made it to Wyatt and Tina's house, ate some grass and heaved Steve on the living room rug (no relation to Steve the dog...). Remember that weak stomach I mentioned? Yeah. Well, I cleaned it up without throwing up. That might be a milestone.
Steve and Duke get along pretty well. However, Steve is young, hyper and likes to play rough. Duke is gentle, fat and likes to play nice. So he's getting a little bit of a workout. But Steve goes into his kennel while I'm gone, so Duke gets some rest then.
This morning when I woke up, I called the dogs to go outside. We all slept in the same room and I noticed that Duke had staked out some space under the bed, presumably to stay away from Steve. Steve and I went downstairs and he went outside. Duke didn't show up. So I went back upstairs to find him. I heard him whining from under the bed. He was stuck. Fortunately for him, the hardwood floors are nice and slick; I pulled him out by his collar.
A guy got on my bus yesterday and said, "My name is Crime and crime don't pay." Um, brought back memories of jokes that were really funny in second grade. Osborne Green, anyone? Jokerman paid.
I've been getting up very early for a few weeks now. I'm ready for one of those days where I don't have to set an alarm. But I'll set my alarm for 4:15 tomorrow morning.
6/27
I'll be Duke-sitting for a few days, starting tonight. I have to get up at 4:00 in the morning, so I'm just going to sleep at his house. Starting tomorrow, I'm going to be Steve-sitting, too. But that's just for a couple days.
Something truly exciting just happened.

The Daff rang my doorbell! He was with my parents. They were on their way to Snuffy's Malt Shop and they saw him on Penn Avenue. He's going with them. That ought to be fun.
6/26
Tuesday night was pretty exciting around here.

About four hours after I swiped this image, at 11:15, we lost our power. It came back on last night at 8:45. So yesterday I had one of those shave in the dark, disconnect the garage door opener, hold the garage door open and pull your truck-in-neutral out into the garbage can and tree-littered alley and hope it stops so you can catch it kind of mornings. It stopped in my neighbor's yard, thanks in part to a lilac bush.
We didn't have any tornadoes here, but we did get some really fierce straight-line winds. I went out in it to see what it felt like. It felt windy.
And I got some sad news today. John Rogers, driver #2175, died last night. He was about my age and we were relatively close in seniority. That meant that we had similar schedules and saw a lot of each other at Nicollet. He and I often spent time talking in the parking lot after work when it was time to go home. He came to Heywood Garage this last pick, same as me. He really was a good guy. I'll miss him. If you believe that you get what you expect to get when you die, he's in a good place right now.
6/23
And how was your weekend? I think this was my last Saturday/Sunday one for a while.
And so Friday night I went to The Local with Mark, da Mons, his roommate Eric and his friend Mike. That place is a bit yuppie for my tastes. I think I like better on a weekday. But it was fun. I hadn't seen da Mons for a while.
Saturday, Mark and I went to a party in St. Paul. That was pretty fun, too. Mark is on the periphery of that crowd. They were fairly entertaining. I thought I recognized a couple of the women there, so I made a basic inquiry. Yeah, it was Amy and Oona. I went to high school with them and even hung out with them a bit. (Though I think I knew both their older brothers better.) They didn't recognize me until I told them my name. I guess that's what 70 pounds will do.
And yesterday, I hung out with Wyatt, Tina and Steve all day. Tina's mom arrived from Sioux City and her sister Angie showed up, too.
I'm still driving a trip the 10 in the morning, then route training the rest of the day. I have no notes in my calendar other than that I drove the Twins bus (full wrap advertisement) one day.
I learned the infamous 5 line today. My mother will be relieved to learn that we have very little of it at Heywood, so I won't see it very much. In a way, that's too bad for readers of this site. The excitement factor tends to be pretty high on that one.
And finally, my brother was recently in Florida for a conference. He works at Nike Team Sports, in licensing. (Um, right, Corey?) Anyway, he sent me some pictures and this one really cracked me up.
6/18
There's a guy who rides my bus from the Northtown transit stop around the mall to Cub foods, where he works from 7:00 to 10:00 in the morning. He's excited because he's going to be in a Special Olympics track meet this weekend. He participates in the shot put, standing long jump and 800 meter run. He thinks he has a reasonable shot at a gold in the shot and long jump.

This is my grandfather. Here's an article about him. Even though I provided the link to the article, I can't be responsible for any Packers crap you might see there. View at your own risk. Oh yeah, and I swiped that picture from the Wausau Daily Herald. I'm thinking that since I resized it, and since FrontPage seems to work it over in its own special way, the folks at the Herald won't be able to recognize it when they find it, so they won't be upset...
Speaking of baseball, Tina called me today to warn me not to go to the St. Paul Saints game tonight. See, I have this really active gag reflex coupled with a weak stomach for certain things. Like people brushing their teeth. And the Saints are hoping to break the Guinness record for most people simultaneously brushing their teeth. It makes me gag to think about it.
6/17
I just got home and I should have been in bed an hour ago. Dad and I went out for nine holes of torture. It was fun to go with him, but I golfed the worst I have all year, and probably the worst I have in five years. My score, which I never did hear, must have been in the seventies. Ugh.
My bus broke down yesterday. I was pulling out to Northtown (in Blaine!) and just before the 53rd Ave. overpass on I-94, two engine-related lights came on. I lost power and had to pull over to the shoulder. I waited about half an hour for a mechanic to show up with a new bus. In the meantime, a Highway Helper stopped by in his bright yellow-green truck to see if I needed anything. I didn't even ask him if he had a doughnut or anything. By the time the mechanic got there, my work had been filled, so I went back to the garage.
Hey. What's the difference between flame broiled and fire grilled? Is "fire grilled" Burger King's new gimmick? I passed a BK on Central Ave. with that on their sign. Sounds like the same thing to me.
I noticed a fly on the inside of my bus windshield yesterday. I was stopped on Central Ave. at E. Hennepin, so I opened the front door and stared at that fly, trying to will it out of the bus. I sat there and focused on that fly hoping to make it feel the force of my mind. A guy hopped on and said, "Thanks for waiting!" Uh, sure, no problem...
6/15
The tour of the Summit Brewery was pretty good. The tour guide was giving his second tour ever and it showed. (Quit apologizing for being a little shaky, dude!) But it was OK and we got the customary free samples. Everyone who was working there was really friendly.
I met Mike C and Kevin T there. Mike had a tiny little camera attachment for his PDA. That's where these pics came from. He plays around with it and it looks like he's working on something, but really he's being all Robert Hanssen with it. He recently redesigned his website as a result of that purchase.
After the tour, we went to Kevin's new house in Blaine! Mike's wife Monique and kids Alonzo and Aidan, and Kev's wife Holly and twins Ali and Isaiah were all around. We played and ate and talked. I had a lovely time.
Today I went to my parents' house for Father's Day dinner. Delicious, as usual. Mark came over, too. (My parents knew him before I did.) After dinner, we played a little bocce out in the back yard. Team Warren and Joyce destroyed Team CJ and Mark.
6/14
It's Saturday and I have the day off. I just like saying that.
If you wanted to, you could still get to Fridley 49er Days. I'm not sure about this, but I think there must have been a lesser-known gold rush in Minnesota, centered in the area now known as Fridley.
Three ladies were having a conversation about their various religious affiliations on the bus behind me the other day. One of them said, "I'm not Catholic anymore. What a sweet little man the Pope is! Isn't he a sweet little man?" Well, yeah, he is. And while we're at it, isn't Stephen Hawking a smart little fella?
Mark and I went to the Walker Art Center to see Wilco last night. So did about 8000 other people. Eric and Nancy met us and I ran into a pile of other people that I expected to probably see.
Wilco played a good show. Mark was a little disappointed in the lack of energy, both in the band and the crowd. But I didn't really mind. However, I like the rockin' Wilco of years past better than the mellow Wilco of late, especially live. It would've been nice if they cranked it up a little earlier. They got around to rocking, but it was almost too little, too late.
Well, with the cable modem and my new 80GB hard drive, I'm getting myself into trouble (time-wise) at emusic. I signed up for three months at $15/mo. I downloaded fourteen albums one night and another nine the next. I'm a bit of a packaging freak, so I miss the cover art, lyrics and liner notes. And mp3s still leave me a little cold in the sound department, but it's a great way to sample bands that I want to hear without buying the CD to do it. Oh, and it's 100% legal, of course. The copyright cop librarian in me didn't really let me get into Napster or Kazaa or anything like that. While AppleMusic seems to be getting a lot of the press, I think if you're interested in this sort of thing, emusic is the way to go. Of course, Apple has a much more mainstream/major label catalog...
I'm going to go on a tour of the Summit Brewery today.
6/11
I've been starting my days by driving one trip on the 10 from Northtown (in Blaine!) to Minneapolis. We go through Fridley, Hilltop and Columbia Heights, which make the 'burbs where I grew up, Richfield and Bloomington, look like Paris and San Francisco in comparison.
But it's pretty easy. Well, today wasn't easy.
The first thing I noticed was that my microphone was hanging by a couple rubber bands. But at least it worked.
As soon as I got onto I-94 on my way to Blaine!, my rear door alarm went off. The rear door alarm is a very loud and high-pitched beep to warn me that someone is trying to open the back door while I have it closed (and locked). Today I guess that someone was the wind. The alarm steadily beeped at me every time I went over 40 mph all the way to Northtown, including a nice fifteen-minute stretch on 94. I was ready to strangle somebody.
Then, on the way to Minneapolis, after someone went out the back door, it wouldn't stay closed. There are touch-sensitive bars on the back door which occasionally cause problems. I'm sure the alarm problem and the not-closing problem were related. I turned off the interlock on the back door, which basically means I shut it off; no one can use it to exit. The switch for that is over my head. I had to stand up and move the sun shades out of the way to get at it.
Then I picked up a guy in a wheelchair. (I had to reactivate the rear door interlock to use the lift, then shut it off again.) His chair didn't fit into the space for wheelchairs, so he stuck out into the aisle.
By now I had a standing load.
Then a sight-impaired guy got on with his dog. And I was downtown, where everyone was going.
So with the back door out of commission and a wheelchair and a dog in the aisle up near the front, my passengers had to navigate an obstacle course to get out the front door.
Then I got back to the garage and I had to wait in the driveway for the Waste Management guy to drop off a new dumpster. I was only fourteen minutes late.
So I was pretty glad I just had the one trip and I got to ride around in the van the rest of the day and learn new routes.
And hey, my cold is pretty much gone. So that's pretty cool...
6/9
Betsy and Ketel got married. I had a great time. I saw several old friends and a bunch of people who I know from showing up there as often as I do. Added bonus: the good folks who I know in Decorah are proof that hippies who bathe regularly actually exist.
I started at my new garage today. It'll be fine. I'll be driving a short piece of work and then training for six hours for the next few weeks. Unfortunately, the work I have this week starts at 6:15 am. My days of sleeping until I wake up have been put on hold. I learned two routes today. That leaves 58 to go.
I just got back from dinner at my parents' house. My aunt and uncle leave tomorrow. (Look for the Camps.)
I have to get up way too early. I think I'll go to bed now.
6/7
Last night was the final night of the last pick. I am now technically assigned to Heywood Garage. I have today and tomorrow off, so I'm going to Decorah, IA for my friend Betsy's wedding.
A woman who rode with me last night was uh, very vocal about how sexy my voice was (on the PA). She commented in detail how it was, you know, affecting her and what might happen if she didn't um, get off the bus. So for those of you keeping track, if I always had a cold, I could probably have a new career and a new girlfriend.
Three innocent passengers and I enjoyed a lovers' spat from 4th Street downtown all the way to 42nd Street. The high entertainment factor: they were boys. They apologized on their way off the bus.
And if the United States doesn't already feel lied to, what will it take? Oh, that's right. Faux News would have to pick up that story...
6/6 1:36 am
Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad!
Just when I thought I was going to have another uneventful evening, I got a call from Control. This is the kind of thing my mother will love to hear about.
It hadn't been completely uneventful, I guess. I had a couple drunks, one of whom said of the Yankees, "They're good. They're rich. They win a lot." <pause> "Like my mom." He meant the rich part.
Anyway, the guy at Control asked me if I remembered anyone getting on my bus at 46th and Nicollet. A lady got on my bus on Lyndale and she was my only passenger until Lake Street. But she ran into a gas station at 46th and Nicollet because I was early and she wanted to use the restroom. She was back out to the bus almost immediately. The woman inside told her that the restroom was out of order. We left the area without incident.
So apparently very soon after we left, a car got shot up in that intersection. In fact, when I drove by after work, that car, an older white Lincoln, was sitting half on the street next to that gas station, and the station's lot was full of those little yellow markers. Witnesses saw the two gunmen get into a bus. However, from what the cops told me, I'm quite sure it was a southbound bus and I was headed north.
On a lighter note, as a kid got off the bus on my last trip, he told me that I have a great late-night DJ voice, that it was very soothing on the PA. Uh, I still have that cold...
6/4
Wyatt, Tina, Eric and I went golfing Monday morning. We opted to play nine holes of real golf (not par 3) at Hiawatha in south Minneapolis. I shot a 55, which is ten more than my best ever, but it was much better than the last time I played over there. The highlight of my day was when I birdied the fourth hole. Afterward, Wyatt, Tina and I went to Matt's Bar for a Jucy Lucy. Well, Tina got a grilled cheese sandwich.
My aunt and uncle arrived Monday from North Carolina. I went over to my parents' for dinner. It was fun. My uncle had a stroke and is aphasic. He got out his flash cards and we worked on his vocabulary for a little while. He's doing a lot better than he was the last time I saw him.
My cold won't go away.
6/2
Driver Groupie found me again last night. It's my fault, though. Saturday night she asked me what route I was driving on Sunday and I couldn't lie to her. She rode one round trip again, and it was fine, I guess. She gave me some candy.
Last Sunday, I couldn't help but notice that the city put about four blocks' worth of ferns along the southern end of Hennepin Avenue downtown. They were tall and healthy; I couldn't see if anyone was waiting at the bus stops. But it looked nice. Yesterday I could see all the stops just fine. Nine of the original forty-three ferns survived the week. And of the nine survivors, about five looked good.
My cold is hanging on admirably. I couldn't smell anything yesterday at all. And I couldn't taste anything, either. So I thought what the heck, and got a veggie sub at Big Mike's.