August 2002

8/29
I went to the Great Minnesota Get-Together this evening. On a date. She claimed that she would like to do something again. So that's cool. More on that later. Or maybe not.
I might go back again tomorrow to see some things that we didn't get to see.
I think the most important thing to note from this evening is this: If you go to the MN State Fair and you simply must have a Deli Express sandwich, you know the ones - your local Amoco station probably sells them - you're in luck! They have a stand set up. Mmm... Deli Express. No need to bother with Teriyaki Ostrich or Cheese Curds or Tom Thumb Donuts or Pronto Pups or any of that traditional state fair food when you can get a tried-and-true Deli Express roast beef and cheddar sandwich!
8/28 (p.s.)
I enjoyed four hassle-free, excitement-free hours on the bus this evening. It's my Friday. Finally.
8/28
I had a couple fairly low-key nights on the 9.
On Monday night, a lady used the phrase "bang-up job" twice in five minutes, once to describe a road construction project, the second time to describe some house construction. I think that might be the first time I've heard that phrase since I watched The Little Rascals when I was a kid.
Then I picked up a forty-something guy whose teeth and jaw were hurting. He described the surgeries and other procedures he'd had done. None of them worked, I guess. At one point, he pulled out his dentures to show me. And he didn't stop talking. In fact, he was still talking when I slowed down to take a left on 9th St. A drunk was waddling across the street and so we waited. The guy looked at us and lifted his hand to shake it in the universal sign of male masturbation, while giving us a raspberry. Sweet!
Last night a guy got on the bus wearing a Tommy Girl t-shirt (see 8/12). But he wasn't on his way to or from work. He was out on the town. Maybe they make those for men, I don't know...
And I was on a layover at the Holiday Station in Minnetonka again. A little kid, maybe 3, started to throw a tantrum so his mom took him out to their car. But he was fighting and she was small, maybe 100 pounds. She couldn't get him in the car. I assumed she was trying to get him into a car seat. Every time she got him into the car, he'd climb out. After about eight minutes, she gave up on the car seat and pushed him in and shut the door. I suspect he was already trying to get out and the door hit him because she opened the door again and picked him up. So he carried on for another seven minutes. At this point, one would think that the kid would be tired. I had stopped paying attention at some point, and they finally drove away after about 20 minutes of him screaming and crying and fighting.
It reminded me of my brother Corey.
8/26
I put a few more photos on the photo page.
8/25
I am writing this with an armpit full of Epil-Stop roll-on. I got an email from a friend wondering how well it works. As I mentioned, it does nothing for the male beard.		In my medicine cabinet...
Here is an excerpt from that email: Hypothetically speaking, how would you rate said product on removal of unwanted body hair from back of the neck/shoulder region? Not experiencing that problem? Lucky you.		In my medicine cabinet...
Well I decided to take it from hypothetical to demonstrated. In three minutes, I'll have a verdict.
I had a very nice, relaxing evening on the bus. I didn't have anyone on my last trip out to Minnetonka.
OK. The Epil-Stop took about half the hair out of my pit. I am experiencing a minor stinging sensation, but I had to rub a damp washcloth over the area to get the hair off and that might be the cause of the stinging.
I can't speak for Epil-Stop and Spray, because I only have the roll-on and the folks on the commercial use the spray for body hair removal. But one would think it's the same stuff in both bottles, right?
I might attempt to get the rest out tomorrow. Perhaps it takes a couple tries. Right now, in its washed-and-patted-dry stage, much of the remaining hair can be fairly easily tugged out.
Besides the Not For Use On Men's Face part, the commercials also don't explain how to deal with a damp washcloth full of unwanted hair.
So anyway, I was in the men's room at the Holiday Station in Minnetonka when I noticed that a (presumably) Minnetonkan gangsta tagged the underside of the toilet seat. I can understand how a tag might inspire fear and awe in those who see it high on the side of a building, on a freeway overpass or some other visible, high-risk and/or difficult-to-access place. "Wow, that Lick Nuts* sure is daring! How do you think he got that fire hydrant without being seen?"
I suspect the toilet-tagging Minnetonkan gangsta has some self-esteem issues.
*it's all over the place on Nicollet Ave.
8/24
12:09 AM This was the last of my ten-hour shifts, hopefully for a very long time.
I drove the 2, which is a fairly laid back route, in spite of the fact that it goes through a pretty rough neighborhood.
Of course, I met plenty of drunk guys, stinky guys and drunk stinky guys. But no really memorable ones.
Oh, and I watched an unmarked police car take a right turn through an intersection and fail to yield to a pedestrian in the crosswalk. I'm not sayin' anything, I'm just sayin'...
8/23
1:37 AM Well, the sh*t hit the fan in north Minneapolis this evening. (I like the coverage here, too.)
I heard about this at about midnight from some folks who were at the hospital when the eleven-year-old kid was brought in. A couple of other people who were on my bus made comments that only made sense when I knew about this story. For instance, one guy remarked that he was surprised that there were any squad cars left in northeast. I just thought he was making a general comment on quiet NE Mpls vs. not quiet N Mpls.
The same thing happened on September 11. I was driving and never knew a thing until I got back to the garage.
It's strange to be out and about and talking to people and not know when something big (or really big) has happened.
I had a nice day on the bus. It always makes my day when someone I know rides with me. Tonight, three people I know (two personally) rode with me:
Val, who used to date my former roommate Eric, David, a prep cook from Cafe Havana and (drumroll, please) Bono, from U2!
When Bono got on, he paid and said, "thankyouverymuch" in a very Elvis P. manner. I knew I was in the presence of a star.
He asked me how far it was to downtown. I said fifteen minutes. Then he asked me if I was from Minneapolis. I said I was. He said he was from Ireland and have I ever heard of U2? He then revealed his identity as Bono from U2.
Then he sang "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" for us. For several minutes.
Apparently he's in town for a week staying at his apartment in Uptown.
On his way off the bus, he shook my hand and urged me to "keep America rolling."
Bono must spend a lot of time in the U.S. because the craziest thing of all is that his dialect sounds just like my cousin David's, and he's from North Carolina!
8/22
I worked a long day yesterday with a couple more long days to go. It's the price I pay for all that time off.
I don't remember much of last night. I was really tired. We had big thunderstorms two nights ago and I was taking care of Steve, so I didn't get a good sleep.
One guy, carting a lot of stuff in what I think was a modified golf pull cart, pulled out a picture of himself thirty years ago. We were in the Selby-Dale neighborhood, which, as he reminded me, used to be a 'hood. Now it has pretty much been gentrified. He was, to borrow a phrase from, uh, someone, I'm sure, totally pimped out in that photo.
When I got home, I saw that the long-awaited IGIA Epil-Stop roll-on had arrived. I thought maybe I wouldn't ever have to shave again. Well, a test patch revealed that I won't be throwing away my razor any time soon. And oh, the bottle says Not For Use On Men's Face. That was the first I'd heard of that.
8/20
It's safe to say that I'm feeling lazier with all this time off.
I stayed at Wyatt and Tina's last night.
I took Steve to the grocery store with me. He didn't stick his head out the window like a normal dog. But he did climb over me a couple times to try to get his head out my window.		Steve
When we got back, I found that I'd left my dinner in my truck. I went back out to the garage and realized that I was locked out. So I broke in. Though the break-in itself was rather elegant, some glass shattered when I tried to replace it. While I was breaking in, I amused myself with the thought of the neighbors calling the cops and me getting busted in the 'hood. But I suspect that it takes more than a little broken glass for the cops to show up.		Steve
I watched This is Spinal Tap and went to bed relatively early. I woke up around 1:00 AM. I could hear something that didn't sound right. Steve had the wastebasket in the middle of the room and its contents everywhere else. Thanks, puppy.

My friend Jamie showed up Thursday evening, 8/15. I was hanging out with (it's not da Fonz, it's...) da Mons and Eric, eating Johnsonville brats. Jamie's an archivist (or a special collections librarian, depending on when you ask her) at Augustana College in Rock Island, IL. Although she adores the Quad Cities and would love to stay there for the rest of her life, she decided to take this opportunity to get out of town before school starts. She wanted to get here for the Great Minnesota Get-Together, but was unable to take that time off.
I worked Saturday. Not too much excitement. We got a call from control to tell us that there had been a fatal hit-and-run in downtown Minneapolis and the suspect had possibly gotten on a bus.
I was in my own little world thinking about that as I pulled into a terminal. I was snapped out of my daze by a woman shrieking and screaming, "STOP THAT BUS!!!" And that scared me.
She was kind of embarrassed when she realized that I was going to stay for a few minutes and that I'd pulled forward to the front of the stop to leave room for other buses to get in and out.
That evening Jamie and I went to my friend Weed's house for a gathering of old high school friends. My friends Manda and Pete were in town from California. Manda and I were good friends in high school (church youth group). She married Pete, who went to my school. I occasionally hung out with his posse, as I was friends with several of them. Two of his (and my) peeps, Jeff and Dean, claim to actually read this thing regularly. It was nice to get over there to see that crew, as I don't see them very often, but I enjoy their company.
That party wound down due to kids and early flights. It was too late to get to Northfield for my friend Alysia's vicars and tarts birthday party so we went to another birthday party for a guy named Dan. His wife Teresa and I worked together in Dead Moines. That party featured jell-o shots best eaten with a spoon (I'll pass, thanks...) and water balloons. It was fun. I don't get to see Teresa and Dan very often either.
Wyatt and Tina left town yesterday and I am watching their dog Steve.
We went over there last night to watch a couple movies. I thought Orange County was pretty good and I really liked The Royal Tenenbaums.
Jamie left this morning. I think I'll go hang out with Steve today. I go back to work Wednesday.
8/14
Even though I don't live in the ghetto, I tried Mountain Dew Code Red today. It truly is a sensation as real as the streets. Unlike Pepsi Blue, which tastes nothing like Pepsi, MD Code Red tastes like Mountain Dew plus cherry. And I think it looks like it would have a grenadine flavor, but thankfully it doesn't.
I didn't mind it, but you know, it's really sugary. With my eyes closed, it would be tough to tell these fruity sodas apart.
Then I mixed some remaining Pepsi Blue with MD Code Red to get something I like to call PepsiCo Purple Sugar Blitz Fusion.
It's my Friday.
8/13
New soft drinks were recently a topic of discussion on my favorite mailing list. As a result, I decided to buy Pepsi Blue while grocery shopping last night after work. The bottle says "berry cola fusion," and the product information at Pepsi's website says that "it uses essentially the same base formula as regular Pepsi, with a fusion of wild berry flavors," but I don't taste the cola at all. To me, it tastes just like a carbonated version of a most excellent Kool-Aid flavor called Mountain Berry Punch (?). Sadly, I don't think that flavor is available any more, at least with that name. And Kool-Aid is caffeine-free, which makes me (and my stomach) much happier.		Hey Kolon-Aid!
As I approached a green light at 46th Street this evening, I watched a young couple slowly cross 4th Street in front of me, against the light and holding up oncoming traffic.
So naturally, I matched their obnoxious behavior with some of my own. I laid on the horn from about 150 feet away and barreled through the intersection without slowing down.
And aside from the satisfaction of sounding a nice big bus horn for seven or eight seconds, what did it get me?
The finger.
8/12
Just when I thought I might have nothing of interest this evening, a guy got on the bus wearing a t-shirt that said VIXEN.
Now this was not, as you might suspect, a shirt for that god-awful hair band or a man on his way to The Gay 90's. It was for a Revlon product of some kind.
This was a guy who is a member of a group of people who are some of the hardest working folks I've ever met. They are the restaurant workers who prepare the food, clear the tables, and wash the dishes. They mop floors, dump garbage and clean toilets in office buildings. All for a whopping $8 or $10 an hour. You know, Latino immigrants. This guy was probably on his way home from job #2 or #3.
My first sighting of this particular t-shirt phenomenon was at Court Avenue Brewing Company in Des Moines. Our dishwasher had a t-shirt that said SCHLIEMAN on the back.
I admit that it might be unfair to poke fun. After all, it's just a work shirt and English is the guy's second language, but there is undeniable humor in seeing a man in a VIXEN shirt. And possibly even more funny was the guy with a MILLION MOM MARCH t-shirt who rode my bus about a month ago.
8/11
When I got to my bus this afternoon at around 2:00, the garbage was full, so I emptied it into a dumpster in the garage. A cockroach skittered out. I thought that was odd.		yes, I swiped this photo. bad librarian! (it was taken by Bart Drees, Texas A&M)
I lived with cockroaches in Des Moines. I saw one when I was looking at the apartment, but I had only seen the much larger ones euphemistically known as palmetto bugs in the South, so I didn't think much of it. It didn't take long before I was quite familiar with our friend the German cockroach.
I had a layover tonight from 9:35 to 10:00. I parked the bus and wandered around the Leamington Parking Ramp. Yes, I am easily amused. I went back to the bus a few minutes before 10:00 and what was there to greet me? Cockroaches. Approximately six of the little bastards were feasting on the paper towels that I keep to my immediate left near the cup holder in the driver's area. I only had one quick trip to make before I was done for the night, so I didn't bother with a bus change.
The word at the garage is that an exterminator will rid that bus of the roaches.
8/10
If you're looking for baffalo figers, it looks like the Uptown Arby's is the place to go. Mmmm... baffalo figers.
I spent nine hours on the 21, it's the Lake Street/Selby Avenue route between Uptown Mpls and downtown St. Paul.
It takes me through some pretty choice parts of the city, so Saturday night is always fun.
One guy at Lake and Chicago (a place where, as my part-time driving instructor joked, five bucks will get you anything) caught my attention. He had something in some paper that must have smelled really good, given the time and energy that he spent, uh, smelling it...
A drunk guy, maybe 40, staggered onto the bus on my last round trip (around 12:30 AM) and said something about walking if he missed the last bus to his destination. He said that he didn't mind walking, though. He told me he'd walked through the desert in Nevada with two cans of yellow wax beans. Then he told me a story. About three years ago he was camping with a sixty-year-old guy. Apparently the older guy grew weary of this guy's use of the f word. So the sixty-year-old made him walk home. He got close to Alexandria (approximately 130 miles from Minneapolis) and passed out in a ditch. After some time in detox they let him go, but he only had $5. So he started walking. It took him three days to get back to the Twin Cities.
He assured me that he doesn't use the f word any more.
It's a good thing that he likes to walk because he got off five or six miles from where he initially told me he wanted to go.
8/9
Yesterday I took a walk in Edina. I'm pretty sure the air smells better there.
Last night I had dinner with my friend Paul (a self-described avid indoorsman) and his wife Jolana. I don't think I've seen Paul since sometime in 1987, and we talked on the phone about twelve years ago.
It was really fun to see him again. I enjoyed their company.

8/7
If anyone in Minneapolis needs a new chair for their living room, you can get a sweet little burgundy number in the Gateway Parking Ramp, located on Washington Avenue between 4th and 5th Avenues. It's on the north end, street level, on top of a pile of dirt and litter. The cushion is behind it. Free!
I got to drive a route that I'll probably never do again while I'm at my current garage. I was doing an S-98, which means I took a bus and a notebook with all the maps of all the routes in it to the aforementioned Gateway Ramp and waited for some action.
Control called the one man they knew could handle the work, and I made that work beg for mercy.
I went out of service when I got to the terminal (Northtown Mall, in Duluth or Fargo or somewhere...) but there was a lady who needed to get downtown. We took the freeway and I dropped her off as close to work as I could. A block away. That's called customer service.
Today is my Friday.
8/6
Uneventful day. That's a good thing because I am really tired and sometimes everything was swirling in front of me. Think about that next time you're driving next to a bus...
I noticed a lot of the flags were flying at half-mast today. Did I miss something? Did a world leader die?
I assume it was because today was the funeral of the Minneapolis Police officer who was killed in the line of duty. She got in a shootout with a sixty-year-old woman in a bathroom of an apartment complex right next to the garage where I work.
Hey. My cousin Lynn's in town! Party at my mom and dad's!
I need a nap.
8/5
I took a wrong turn today.
Yeah, that's pretty embarrassing. It was on an express route in Edina, where the streets are like spaghetti. Fortunately, I got turned around pretty easily and only lost five minutes. No one seemed too upset.
What amuses me is that in contrast to all the disorder found in the layout of the streets of the western suburbs, the people I pick up there wait for the bus in nice, straight lines.
I talked to the safety supervisor today about the smashed mirror on Saturday. He has a reputation for being tough and I expected to be charged with an accident. He noted the narrowness of that street. And that maybe I shouldn't be going as fast as I was if I was going to get as close to another bus as I was. He noted my clean record. And I should see that street in the winter. And that if it happens again, he'll have to do something about it, but not this time. I thanked him.
I was aware that this might be the outcome, but I was unwilling to count on it. I told him the truth and he was cool about it. These things happen. But only once...
8/4
I had an easy day.
I looked for Tim at the art fair twice and could not find him.
Two things of note.
The first is that Dusty, a guy I knew in high school, got on my bus. Unlike many of the guys I knew in h.s., he is someone I'm glad to have run into. I don't remember hanging out with him outside of school (and I could be wrong about that and in that case I'm a jerk). But I remembered his name, and I know I enjoyed talking with him at school. I seem to forget a lot of details in life and remember the bottom line. In this case, that he was one of the good guys. And I gave him this URL, so he'll probably read this and regret saying hello...
The second thing, which really should go without mention, is that I ate Wendy's today.
But that's not all. As a result of that meal, in the middle of my second piece of work, I had to pull the bus over and heave steve. Fortunately, no one was on board.
This could signal the end of my fast food days for good. I don't eat much of it at all, maybe twice a month. But McDonald's made me sick a few weeks ago and now the square patty gave me a raw deal.
8/3
Today was one of those bad days.
It started last night when I found out that I had to work a split shift, basically from 5:30 AM to 5:30 PM with a few hours off in the middle. That automatically makes for a long day.
At the very end of my morning work, I met an oncoming bus on a narrow street. And our mirrors met, shattering mine. My window was open (the weather was beautiful) so glass got inside the bus in the driver's area. That's always nice.
So I wrote that up. I'll have a chat with my manager and probably the safety supervisor and it will go on my record.
I got home for a couple hours and took a nap, but couldn't sleep. I had to make relief Uptown at 1:08. (That means I take over the bus in mid-trip.) Because when my shift was over I was scheduled to take the bus back to the garage, I planned to park my truck at the garage and catch a bus Uptown for the relief. I waited too long to leave my house after my nap and didn't want to take any chances on missing a bus to Uptown. So I drove Uptown and found a parking place a couple blocks south of the bus route.
I got there more quickly than I anticipated. I expected a lot more traffic. The Metris [!] (Uptown) Art Fair is this weekend. My friend Annette's husband Tim is here with his pottery. I wanted to try to find him and I had about twenty minutes, so I went to the fair. I got about eight minutes away from the relief point and it started to pour. I got drenched. I got on the bus (to drive) and within fifteen minutes it quit raining.
I finished driving and went back to the garage. Then I had to retrieve my truck. Just before the bus pulled up to take me back to my truck, it started to pour again. So I walked (and ran, but my bag is bulky) the two blocks to my truck. I was soaked again.
Needless to say, I was happy to get home, take a shower and put on dry clothes.
I work a split again tomorrow.
On a much happier note, the mail carrier brought me some CDs that I've been waiting for. Kevin Tihista's Red Terror - Judo, a follow-up to his fantastic Don't Breathe a Word and a live CD from The Loud Family - From Ritual to Romance.

8/1
I have the day off. What will I do? A weather check reveals a perfectly lovely day. I guess I'll leave the house and do something. (But not until I get some clean boxers.)
I was dog, plant and house sitting for my friend Manda's parents last weekend.
I stopped in on my way to work one day and went upstairs to their bedroom water some plants. A sparrow flew out from my right and settled on a window sill. Yes, inside.
I didn't have time to deal with it, so I closed the doors to their room and went to work.
I got back at about 1:00 AM and, armed with a broom, went upstairs to get the bird outside. I took the dog, Duke, with me. He's a golden retriever and I thought maybe his hunting genes would kick in and he would be helpful.
So I poked around in trees and plants and by the windows looking for the bird while Duke tried desperately to engage me in a game of fetch. I couldn't find the bird.
I don't know where it was, but it was there the next morning when Duke and I went upstairs. I opened the sliding door to the deck and it flew out. I don't think Duke even noticed. July...

8/19
Mark just sent me an email warning me of the dire consequences of not updating this site. And I was doing just that when, as has become quite common, my computer crashed. Now I'm going to save after every paragraph.
I've been busy entertaining and being entertained. I'm better at being entertained.